


Recovery

by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)



Series: Regrets & Recovery [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-04
Updated: 2002-10-04
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:43:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra%20of%20Yore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy is offered one last chance at happiness...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> I no longer consider this story to be the 'canonical' sequel to "Regrets". Frankly, I'm not particularly fond of it, not because of issues involving Vicky, but because I caved in and let Buffy have a happy ending. Please, feel free to read it if you want. I'll keep the story on-line because I know some people did like it, but the series is dead at this point.

Buffy started when she heard the knock at her door. On the other couch, Xander merely hit the pause button on the movie and sat up.

“It’s almost midnight,” Buffy commented nervously. “Who could that be?”

“You’ll never know until you get the door,” Xander shrugged, grabbing a handful of nachos, obviously completely unconcerned that their midnight visitor could be of the demonic persuasion.

Buffy wasn’t taking any chances, though. She picked up a handy crossbow on her way to the front door and peeked through the window there first, just in case.

She had been right. It _was_ a demon at the door.

Buffy flung the door open wide.

“Buffy.”

Oh god, just the sound of her name on his lips made her knees turn to Jell-O. And those piercing, wonderful, beautiful, blue eyes that looked straight into her soul…

She hadn’t even realized she’d jumped him until she had her arms wrapped around him and her face buried in his shoulder, soft sobs raking through her body.

Spike’s brow furrowed, and he began to slowly stroke her hair, soothing her. “Hush now, kitten,” he whispered softly in her hair. “Glad to see you, too, y’know…”

“I missed you,” Buffy murmured against his shoulder before backing up to look at him with tear-streaked eyes. “I missed you so much, Spike…” She paused when she saw the damp spot she’d left on his T-shirt. “Sorry about that,” she added sheepishly.

He gave her that cocky smirk that she loved so much. “Don’ hear me complainin’ ‘bout beautiful women jumpin’ right into my arms,” he joked. “Feel free to have yourself a good cry on me any time you want.”

She blushed at his assessment of her as a ‘beautiful woman’ and stepped aside to let him in. “Come in,” she said happily. “I know you’re already invited, but…”

“’S nice to have permission,” he agreed.

It was then that she first noticed that he was not alone. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she smiled at Vicky as she entered as well. “I didn’t see you back there what with the me turning into a blubbering, sentimental idiot and all…”

Vicky flashed her a wry smile. “Don’t I get some blubbering sentimentality, too?” she teased.

Buffy gave her a quick hug. “Love the hair,” she gestured to the red highlights that accentuated the vampiress’ ebony locks. “It sets off the blue in your eyes.”

Vicky smirked. “Thanks. Spike nearly had a coronary when I told him I was going to dye it.”

“Looked nice the old way, too,” he retorted, sulking slightly.

“Fortunately, I didn’t listen to him any more than he does when I tell him to try black for a while,” Vicky retorted.

Buffy grimaced. “I’ve seen black,” she confessed. “Not as good as you might think at first.”

Vicky nodded. “It’s probably just as well. He wouldn’t be Spike without the bleach.”

Buffy laughed. “How long has it been?” she asked curiously. “A year? Two?”

“Three,” Spike informed her, heading into the living room. He quirked an eyebrow at Xander, who was still sitting on the couch, but made no comment.

“Come in, sit down,” Buffy said enthusiastically. “Do you want something to eat? Drink? Sorry, but I don’t keep blood anymore since all my vamp friends have moved away…”

“You got—” Spike began.

“But we’ve still got—” Buffy continued to ramble.

“Hot chocolate,” they both managed to finish in perfect unison.

Vicky couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so predictable, lover,” she teased her mate, mussing up his platinum hair as she sat down beside him.

He gave her a mock scowl and growled playfully.

“Hey now,” Buffy joked, “no vamp fighting in the house. I just had the carpets cleaned, and blood’s a bitch to get out. Now, marshmallows?”

Spike nodded.

“And you?” Buffy turned her attention to Vicky.

“I’ll have the chocolate without the additional sugar bombs that are guaranteed to make me hyper for the next two days,” she said, giving Buffy a little wink.

Buffy ran off to process their orders, smiling at the sound of laughter coming from the living room. Spike was here. And he looked good. Very good. _Too_ good. She mentally slapped herself, forcing her sex drive to remember that he was the vampiric equivalent of married. He wasn’t available to her anymore. But still…

She hadn’t felt this happy in years.

* * *

Spike waited until the water was running at full strength in the kitchen before speaking to Xander. “How is she?” he demanded.

Xander shrugged. “Still pretty much the same. Not that you could tell by the front she’s putting on right now…”

“You can tell,” Vicky commented solemnly. “The marks.” She gestured to her throat. “She tries to cover them, but…”

Spike sighed. “Her eyes, too. Don’t ‘ave that spark anymore.” He rubbed his eyes in a gesture that was strangely reminiscent of Giles. “How bad is it?”

Xander sighed as well. “Bad. As bad as when she came back from Heaven bad.” He put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what more I can do for her…” he said, his voice ragged and helpless.

“Called me, din’tcha?” Spike snorted derisively. “That’s somethin’.”

Xander nodded, his face resolved. “What do you want me to do?” he demanded.

“You still have that union meetin’ or whatnot down in LA this week?” Spike asked.

Xander nodded.

“Go,” Spike instructed him. “Do some sightseein’. Don’ worry ‘bout anythin’ back here.”

“You’ll help?” Xander said with relief.

Spike shrugged. “Much as I can. The rest’s up to her…as always.” He switched topic abruptly when his senses informed him that Buffy was returning. “So any excitin’ new nasties around?” he asked Xander curiously.

“Pair of T’Liff’s last week,” he answered, his own tone lightening as Buffy entered the room with a tray of hot chocolates. “There was a big fire. Boom. T’Liff guts everywhere.”

“Now _those_ ‘ll stain,” Spike joked, giving Buffy a little smile when he took his mug from her.

“Tell me about it,” she agreed. “I once got some in my hair back when I was the Sl—” She abruptly cut off in mid-syllable, the subject just a bit too painful to discuss…especially in the present company.

“Not ‘s bad ‘s that Larek Demon we took down, though,” he added lightly, averting a potentially awkward silence.

“Ugh!” Buffy shuttered. “Pink slime! What kind of self-respecting demon squirts out _pink_ slime?!”

“Well, _you_ were the one who ‘ad to chop its horn off. Was all neat’n’clean till then,” he accused.

“You should have seen it,” Xander chuckled, turning to Vicky. “She whacked its horn right off, and this squirt of pink slime hits Spike right in the head…”

“…His hair was this weird light pink color for two whole weeks!” Buffy laughed as well. “He refused to leave his crypt the entire time.”

“And then we lied to him and said it was out, ‘cause he couldn’t check in the mirror…” Xander continued.

“And thankfully I took a Polaroid first an’ found out you were lyin’ to me in time,” Spike sulked. “And how did this turn into ‘Spike humiliation time’ within all ‘f ten minutes, anyway?”

“Poor baby,” Vicky cooed, a mocking lilt in her voice as she patted his arm.

He managed to make a sound halfway between a ‘humph’ and a growl.

“So,” Buffy said, a delighted smile still on her face, “what brings you two all the way from merry ol’ England?”

“Business,” Spike said with a sigh.

“One of the charges of the Coven ran off,” Vicky explained. “There was a messy break up and lots of nastiness. I’m going to try to talk Charley into coming back. He really does have to continue his training if he ever hopes to be able to contain his powers…” She broke off with a slight smile. “That last part was a direct quote from Giles, of course.”

Buffy chuckled.

“How is the G-man, then?” Xander asked.

“’E an’ Olivia are finally out of the honeymoon state and into the nitpickin’ state,” Spike rolled his eyes. “I swear they’re jus’ like kids half the time…”

“There was a major battle about proper etiquette for sharing toothpaste,” Vicky elaborated. “It was nearly the end of the world.”

“You are joking, right?” Buffy asked quizzically. “’Cause ‘end of world’ takes on frightening connotations here…”

“Am I?” Vicky grinned.

“How long will you be in town?” Xander inquired.

“Just tonight,” Vicky said, and Buffy visibly slumped. “I have to head out to LA tomorrow evening. Spike should be around for several days more though.”

Buffy brightened instantly. “You’re staying here?” she asked, trying not to sound too eager.

“Have some old acquaintances ‘d like to keep in touch with,” he nodded, taking another sip of his cocoa. “Present company included.”

Buffy flushed slightly and lowered her eyes to the hot chocolate mug in her hands, blowing at the steam there.

“Where’re you staying?” Xander asked through a mouthful of nachos.

“We’ll get ourselves a room at the Motor Lodge,” Vicky shrugged. “We just wanted to stop by here first.”

“You can stay here,” Buffy suggested softly, startled when she realized the words had actually escaped her mouth. She _really_ hadn’t intended to make that offer.

Spike and Vicky both raised an eyebrow at her in perfect syncopation.

“We don’t want to be a bother…” Vicky insisted.

“No bother,” Buffy said firmly, deciding that her spur-of-the-moment idea wasn’t a bad one after all. “I’ve got a big, empty bedroom that’s just waiting to be put to good use. And I’ve still got those ultra-thick black shades to keep the sun from slipping in.”

“If you’re sure, kitten…” Spike looked right into her eyes as if trying to read something there.

Buffy resisted the urge to blink. He had always been frighteningly good at reading her. “I insist,” she said sternly. “I could use the company, and it’ll give us a chance to catch up more. Plus, you won’t have to drive any further tonight, and…” She trailed off when she realized she was babbling and blushed slightly.

Spike gave her a kind little smile. “’d love to stay here with you, pet,” he reassured her.

“Well, that settles that,” Vicky said. “We should bring our bags in.” She looked pointedly at Xander.

“Oh…right!” he quickly caught on. “Let me help you with those,” he said, quickly following her from the room. “You two just stay put and…catch up…”

Buffy’s brow furrowed in that ‘I know something’s up but what is it?’ look.

“’E’s just worried about you,” Spike answered her unspoken question, “an’ so am I…”

She turned to look at him in surprise. “Wh-What?” she stuttered slightly.

He leaned into her and gently brushed one lock of her honey blond hair aside, exposing the dozen or so scars on her throat. “’m not blind, pet,” he reminded her softly.

Buffy was dimly aware of the fact that she should have been pulling away from him and trying to cover up her disgrace, but she was transfixed by those brilliant blue eyes and the cool fingertip that lightly brushed over the marks on her neck.

“I know,” she finally whispered.

“Why?” he demanded.

“Can’t you guess?”

He grimaced. “Never could quite trust my guesses ‘round you, princess,” he confessed.

“Why not?” she asked softly. “They were always right.”

“Always?” he quirked a scarred eyebrow in her direction.

“Is that why you’re here?” she demanded, changing the subject.

“Charley’s in trouble.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You’re in trouble, too.”

“How did you know?”

“You’re got friends, luv. People who really care about you.”

“Xander,” she sighed. “I’m surprised he’d call you.”

“We’ve reached an understandin’ of sorts over the years,” he shrugged.

She finally pulled away from his touch and ran a hand through her hair. “How much do you know?” she finally asked, amazed at how quickly the almost telepathic rapport between the two of them had returned.

“Only what you tell me,” he replied enigmatically, lighting up a cigarette.

She watched the smoke curl up from his lips with fond nostalgia. “What have I told you?”

“Nothin’ new.”

“So,” Buffy spat bitterly, “there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Isn’t there?” he looked at her askance.

Her brow furrowed with confusion. “There is?” she asked in disbelief.

He sighed. “Would it kill you jus’ for once to look at things through someone else’s eyes, kitten?” he spoke gently. Then he stood up and greeted Vicky as she entered with the last of their bags.

“Xander went on home,” she said, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

He nodded. “We’re kinda tuckered, Slayer,” he said to Buffy. “Mind if we crash for the evenin’?”

“Go right ahead,” she said with a small smile. “Good night.”

“See you tomorrow,” Vicky said with a friendly smile, taking Spike’s hand and leading him up to bed.

“’Night, luv,” Spike gave her one last look. “Think about what I said…”

The bedroom door shut behind them.

Buffy walked to her own room in a daze, still trying to fathom the hidden meaning behind Spike’s last words to her. She lay down in bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time before shutting her eyes.

“I love you, Spike,” she repeated her new bedtime mantra before falling into the most peaceful sleep she’d had in months…

* * *

“I thought vampires slept through the morning,” Buffy said in surprise when one of her houseguests entered the kitchen for breakfast.

“You mean Snoring Beauty up there?” Vicky rolled her eyes. “Believe it or not, some of us vamps _are_ aware of the fact that there’s a ten o’clock a.m., too.”

Buffy laughed. “Coffee?” she offered, holding up the steaming pot in front of her.

“Oh gods, yes,” Vicky groaned.

And Buffy couldn’t help but smile. She’d strategically tried at several points in time to hate the vampiress, but each time she’d been reluctantly forced to admit that Spike’s choice of mate was a lot of fun to be around.

“Cups, cups, cups…” Vicky muttered to herself, checking through the cabinets.

“To the left of the sink,” Buffy pointed, “just the same as when you were here.”

“Ah!” Vicky exclaimed with a look of delight when a vessel sacred enough to store the most holy of coffees appeared before her. “Actually, I’ve never been in your kitchen before,” she informed Buffy as she poured the life-sustaining – and unlife-sustaining – liquid into her mug.

Buffy frowned. “That can’t be right,” she insisted. “We were both Scoobies for three years together…”

“Yeah, three years in which the You half of the Scoobies never came into contact with the Spike half,” Vicky said with a rueful smile. “I was in the Spike half.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Didn’t need the reminder that I was ever that childish,” she said with a small smile.

“In all fairness, Spike was just as childish as you were.”

“He had an excuse.”

“So did you.”

“Yeah, but I started it,” Buffy insisted. “He was just minding his business when one day I decided to jump him and throw a monkey-wrench in his unlife.”

The vampiress gave her a sly smile. “He didn’t exactly complain.”

Buffy sighed and put her head in her hands. “I’m assuming he’s told you everything that happened?” she finally asked.

Vicky nodded slowly.

“Then how can you talk to me?” Buffy demanded.

Vicky shrugged. “I like you,” she said simply. “You’re strong and determined and stubborn, and you’ve got a smart mouth. Actually,” she confessed, “you remind me a lot of Spike.”

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle at that. “You’re the only person besides Spike who’s ever seen that,” she finally explained. “Well, and Dawn…”

“It’s not hard,” Vicky regarded her curiously. “In fact, I was always kind of disappointed I didn’t get to know you better because of it.”

“Well, maybe now,” Buffy smiled.

“Maybe now indeed,” Vicky agreed…

* * *

The afternoon had been passed in a pleasant, mundane fashion. They’d done boring housework, made fun of Spike, played games, made fun of Spike, watched TV, made fun of Spike and his weird shows, watched movies, made fun of Spike snoring, recounted stories of demon slaying, and – of course – made fun of Spike some more.

He was getting a bit testy by the time the sun set and Vicky had to drive off to LA. It didn’t stop the two of them from sharing a good-bye to tender it made Buffy’s heart ache, though.

Vicky gave Buffy a little good-bye wave, still looking thoroughly kissed, before driving off into the growing twilight.

“So, pet,” Spike said, turning to her, “looks like ‘s just you an’ me now.”

“Um…yeah,” Buffy said with a slight smile, suddenly realizing how bad this situation really was. What with him being Spike and with her and alone… There was just no way she was going to be able to keep her hands off him, dammit!

 _Slow, easy breaths_ , she tried to calm herself down. _You can do this. Just don’t think about those absolutely scrumptious muscles beneath that too tight T-shirt, and… Argh! If he’s going to keep wearing that thing, then there’s no way it’s my fault if I jump him!_

“You seem a bit tense, kitten,” he said softly, taking hold of her hand and leading her to sit down on the couch beside him. “Here,” he practically purred, “let me help…”

She gasped at the feel of his strong, sure fingers kneading away all the knots in her shoulders.

“Feel good?” he whispered in her ear.

“Mmm-hmm,” she moaned lazily. _Innocent massage is OK_ , her brain insisted. _Free Spike touch with no guilt…_

“Lay down, luv,” he pressed.

She opened one eye to look at him in surprise.

“On your stomach,” he insisted. “Let’s do this right…”

Her body feeling relaxed and languid at his touch, she did as he asked, gasping and groaning at the feel of his hands all up and down her back.

“I missed you, too, y’know, kitten,” he said softly, continuing his delightful caresses as he spoke. “There’s this part of me…never stopped carin’ ‘bout you.”

“This is business?” she said with a small sigh. “I thought you were never supposed to mix that with pleasure.”

“This is pleasure?” he countered, a hint of the old innuendo in his voice.

“No!” Buffy exclaimed reflexively. “Well, not unless you keep doing that… Oh, yeah… Right there…”

He continued to work at the knot at the base of her spine. “Like this?” he asked in a husky whisper.

“Yessss….” she hissed.

“So, Slayer,” he went on in his normal speaking voice, “what do you want to do tonight?”

She froze and pulled away from him abruptly. “I’m not the Slayer,” she said dully.

He caught her hand in his and sat down right beside her, their hips brushing lightly. “Yes, you are,” he insisted. “You’ll always be the Slayer to me.” His free hand came up to brush her cheek. “My Slayer…”

And before she knew what was happening, he’d closed the distance between him, his lips brushing hers oh so gently.

She instinctively leaned into his kiss, her lips parting at his tongue’s caress, her own tongue joining it for long, tender strokes.

When he finally pulled back, she was breathless at the sweetness of his kiss. And then she was panicked at what they’d just done.

“Oh god!” she exclaimed, inching away. “S-Spike, we can’t!”

“We seemed quite able a few seconds ago, luv,” he countered, that seductive smirk she loved so much out in full force.

“No, we can’t,” she shook her head forcefully. “Oh my god… Vicky—”

“Knows.”

“What?” her brow furrowed slightly.

“Vicky already knows, pet,” he informed her, catching her small hand in his larger, cooler one once more.

“Huh?” Buffy was completely flummoxed now.

“She knows what might happen here,” he repeated. “She approves. Hell, it was practically her idea.”

“But…I thought you loved her?” she was still baffled.

“I do,” Spike said sincerely, “but a part ‘f me ‘ll always love you, too, Buffy… And Vicky understands that.”

“You two…broke up?” Buffy said, still confused.

Spike chuckled slightly. “We’re very much together, pet.”

“But then—” she continued to protest.

He hushed her with a finger to her lips. “You’re still lookin’ at everything with a closed mind, kitten,” he said gently. “Vicky an’ me…we’re vampires.”

“Yeah? So?”

He looked her right in the eyes. “Vampires aren’t monogamous, luv.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Oh… Oh!” Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. “Y-You just want…” she trailed off, not sure whether to be angry or overjoyed.

“I want whatever you want,” he insisted, “as little or as much as you need…”

“You can’t give what I need,” she informed him.

Spike sighed. “Jus’ tell me,” he pressed lightly. “It’ll never be quite the same ‘s before, but—”

“I need you,” Buffy said, fighting back tears. “I need you here. With me. I need you to stay with me and to look at me the way you used to, and…I need you to love me, Spike.” She sniffed slightly. “And I know it’s too late.”

“’S never too late, Buffy,” he surprised her, catching her chin and forcing her to look deep into his eyes. “I can be here with you, ‘f that’s what you need. Hell, me an’ Vicky haven’t settled down in one place for a long time. Could just ‘s easily shack up here for a while.”

“But you love her,” she protested.

“Who’s to say ‘s impossible to love two people at once?” he countered. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him, while his other hand remained on her chin. He smiled slightly at the fact that she didn’t resist him in the slightest; it was nice, after all, to finally have her admit some of her feelings for him after the countless cruel rejections he’d experienced from her.

“That’s not how it works,” Buffy said weakly, breathlessly, so eager to be convinced.

“Do you know that for a fact?” he inquired. “I love Vicky more’n anythin’ in the world right now. But,” his thumb lightly caressed her full lower lip, “I could fall for you again in a heartbeat, Goldilocks…”

Buffy closed her eyes, and this time when he kissed her, she didn’t pull away afterwards. Rather, she held him close, resting her head in the crook of his neck, savoring the smell, the taste, the touch of Spike…

“Whaddaya say, Slayer?” The fingers rubbing circles into her back had somehow managed to get underneath her shirt without her noticing. “Jus’ the three ‘f us against the world. Can’t be that bad, right?”

“You do understand how… _weird_ this is for a human?” she finally asked.

“I know,” he sighed, “but ‘s kind of all or nothing, luv. You want me now, you ‘ave to take Vicky right along with me…”

“She’s not here tonight, though,” Buffy commented with a sly smile.

Spike returned it tenfold. “No,” he agreed, “tonight ‘s just you an’ me.”

“Would I be terribly immoral if I wanted…” She trailed one finger down the center of Spike’s chest and gulped slightly.

“Maybe,” he conceded, “but I don’ care, and Vicky doesn’t care, and you _shouldn’t_ care, and no one else needs to know. So, does it really matter?”

“Y’know,” she said softly, leaning in so that their lips were just millimeters apart, “I’m starting to think that it really doesn’t…”

* * *

Buffy woke up to the most delightful sensation she’d ever experienced. If the sound of a soothing whisper could be captured and transformed into a touch, that would be like what she was feeling right now. She murmured slightly as the delicate caress brushed over her temple before oh so gently two kisses were planted on her closed eyelids.

“Spike…” she moaned, allowing them to flutter open. For that brief second, she experienced a wild panic that it had all been a dream and she was alone once more, but then she saw him beside her on the couch, purring softly and still kissing her.

Cautiously, she reached over to run his tousled bleached curls between her fingers.

“’Mornin’,” he said with a small smile.

“Morning?!” she exclaimed in surprise, abruptly sitting up to discover that she had indeed slept the whole night down here after their intense make-out session the night before.

“Don’ worry, kitten.” He tugged her arm lightly and pulled back down beside him. “I called your work already an’ informed them that you’re terribly, deadly sick.”

“You hope,” she teased lightly.

A lascivious smirk curled up at the corners of his mouth. “More like I remember,” he countered. “Though I wouldn’t mind a li’l refresher course…”

She blushed and looked away. “Spike,” she finally said, biting her lower lip, “I think we need to talk about this…”

He sighed on flopped onto his back…completely forgetting that he was on the couch. He let out a little yelp as he fell to the floor in a tangled heap of limbs, scowling at Buffy when she peered over the edge of the couch to laugh at him.

“Maybe you should start with a class in ‘Dramatic Sighs 101’ and then work your way up from there,” she giggled.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah,” he grumbled, “you’re a riot, Slayer. ‘m laughin’ my ass off…”

“I know _I_ am,” she teased.

He let out a sigh of exasperation and banged his head back against the carpet.

“Well, _maybe_ you could test into ‘Dramatic Sighs 102’,” she conceded.

“And what exactly happened to ‘we need to talk’?” he demanded.

Buffy sobered up instantly. “Where to begin…” she said wearily.

“Anywhere you want, luv,” he responded, “…’s long as the words ‘pig’, ‘monster’, an’ ‘disgusting’ aren’t involved in any way.”

It was meant as a joke. It caused Buffy to burst out into tears.

“’Ey now,” Spike was instantly at her side again, his arms wrapped around her. “’S all right, luv. Everythin’s gonna be just fine now. Spike’s here. And ‘m not goin’ anywhere…”

“Promise?” she whimpered into his shoulder.

“’Course,” he assured her. “Now don’ you worry about it, luv. Pet, kitten, sweetness, baby, princess…”

She slowly relaxed as he continued to whisper pet names into her ear. “You forgot ‘Goldilocks’,” she finally mumbled.

“What?” he looked at her curiously.

“You said once,” sniff, “that you’d call me,” sniff, “your ‘little Goldilocks’.”

He quirked an eyebrow in her direction. “Got the distinct impression you didn’t like that one.”

“Yeah, well, I was stupid then,” she laughed wryly. She bit her lip. “I don’t deserve you, Spike,” she finally confessed, “not after everything I’ve…” Her breath caught in her throat, and she burst out into tears again.

“Hush now, luv,” he said softly, rocking her in his lap. “Don’ you ever believe that. Don’ you ever believe you’re not good enough—”

“I’m not even the Slayer anymore,” she retorted bitterly. “I-I’m not the same. I couldn’t possibly match you in…well, _anything_.”

“Don’ know till we’ve tried,” he countered with a smirk.

“I’m human, Spike,” she said softly. “I’m weak. I can’t even…” She broke off, embarrassed.

“You think you can’t satisfy me, pet?” he took the direct path, as always. “That’s silly.”

“No, it’s not,” she insisted. “I have nothing left to offer you. I…I’m _beneath_ you!”

His eyes widened with surprise and…oh yeah, anger. Before she knew what was happening, he had her pinned down to the couch helplessly.

“Never, ever say that!” he hissed. “How can you possibly think that garbage? You’re beautiful, Summers. And you’re smart an’ witty an’ fiery, an’ every time ‘m with you it feels like ‘ve finally found my place in the world.” He released her, but she continued to just lie there, fascinated by his words. “So what ‘f we can’t do anymore serious property damage?” he continued to rant. “There’s more to me than that, an’ there’s more to you than that, and I hope to god there’s more to us than that, or we’re both wastin’ our time!”

He took several deep, unnecessary breaths to calm himself down.

She couldn’t help but smile up at him, her thumb slowly tracing the outlines of his lips. “I-I love you,” she finally managed to say. “I know I should’ve said it a long time ago, but I love you…”

For once, she’d managed to stun him speechless. Sure, it had been implied in their previous conversations, but up until that moment neither of them had actually thought she’d actually come out and say it.

“Spike?” she said, smiling slightly at the startled expression on his face. “Spike, I love you.” She reached up to kiss his forehead gently. “I love you,” she repeated. “Please, show me that there’s more to us.”

 _That_ brought him out of his stupor. She squealed in delight as he caught her up in his arms and practically leapt up the stairs to her room. It was a little bit scary feeling how much stronger he was than her now, but despite his strength, he didn’t hurt her in the slightest…or make her feel like she was fragile; quite an accomplishment these days.

She wasn’t even consciously aware of how their clothes vanished, she was so absorbed in his touches. It was as if their bodies had never lost practice pleasuring each other, as if all those wasted years in the middle had never occurred.

Buffy let out a little breathy sigh of completion when they finally joined once more. He had been so right. It could have been like this all along, soft, passionate, and loving all at the same time.

“I love you, Spike…” she sighed one last time as the pleasure finally overcame her.

“Buffy,” he gasped before they fell to the mattress in a tired mass of limbs, him still clutching her slightly to his chest.

“Mmm,” she murmured lazily, stroking his hair gently, “I’d forgotten that it could feel like this…”

“Oh, Buffy,” he whispered softly, nuzzling her throat. “I-I never thought…”

“That I’d love you?” she finished softly. “Silly,” she giggled slightly, curling up into his chest as sleep began to overtake her, “I’ve been in love with you all along…”

* * *

“How lame is that?” Buffy demanded, rolling her eyes at the action on the screen and snuggling deeper into Spike’s chest. “Why on earth would she lock herself in the basement instead of running out the door? I mean look how slow that thing is! She’d be out of the state by the time it took three steps!”

“Stupid bints in horror movies always scream an’ do the most helpless thing imaginable,” Spike snorted derisively as the shallow bimbo in question fainted promptly after locking herself in the evil scientist’s lab. “’S more offensive to the monster ‘f you ask me. Why do they all walk ‘s if they’ve got full length casts on their legs?”

“So the ditz will look ever stupider when she doesn’t try to run from it,” Buffy retorted, smiling slightly as his fingers ran through her hair, stroking it in a slow, regular rhythm.

“Uh-oh,” he replied with a small smile, “’ere comes that bland-lookin’ bloke from earlier. What ever could possibly happen now?” he asked sarcastically.

“He’s not even attractive,” Buffy snorted, “and like he could fight the monster any better than she could… What is that monster supposed to be anyway?”

“Weren’t you payin’ attention?” Spike scolded her good-humoredly. “’S’a half-human, half-fish, part-spider genetically recombined by the use o’ that big magnet there an’ the ‘secret formula’.”

“Oh, how ever could I have forgotten something that brilliant?” Buffy rolled her eyes. “And what does the magnet do anyway?”

“I _think_ ‘s s’posed to look high-tech,” Spike shrugged. “Jus’ more of lame, if you ask me, though.”

She giggled. “You know what?” she said, turning her head to look up at him.

“What?” he cocked an eyebrow in her direction.

“I really like you,” she informed him.

“Oh, ‘m back down to ‘like’ again now, am I?” he teased.

She waved one hand in the air dismissively. “I still love you, oh arrogant one,” she joked, “but I really like you, too…”

“The Slayer likes me,” he retorted sarcastically. “Now doesn’t that jus’ make my bloody day.”

“Maybe,” she said shyly, looking up at him through long lashes. “I’ve been thinking about your offer…”

“And?” he demanded eagerly.

Buffy laughed. They hadn’t mentioned the offer in question since he’d first made it, and she’d just been waiting for his patience to crack. Hers had gone first, though.

“What would it entail exactly?” she asked. “I need more information. What would it make me? Some kind of concubine?”

He ran a hand through his hair and tried to come up with the appropriate description. “More like…a mistress,” he finally decided. “Only one my wife knows about, but that’s OK even though ‘m still with her and…” He sighed. “It doesn’t really transfer over into human social situations well, kitten.”

“So you and Vicky would be together, and I’d kind of be…on the side?” she asked softly.

“Not on the side,” he insisted, shaking his head. “The two of you’d be more equal’n that. Kinda a three-way roommate thing…”

“Where you’re having sex with both of us?” she said with a little grin. “Good deal for you.”

“Good deal for you, too,” he teased.

“Ugh! Ego much?”

“All the time, luv,” he smiled, his thumb stroking her cheek lightly. “’Sides,” he added more seriously, “other additions could change the ratio up again.”

“Other additions?” Buffy felt like her head was spinning.

“Well, we’d essentially be startin’ up a family group,” Spike explained. “Which opens up the possibility of one ‘f us bringin’ someone else in…not without the other two’s permission, ‘course.”

“Ooh, I get to invite someone?” Buffy joked with a delighted little smile on her face.

“I draw the line at Peaches or Cap’n Cardboard,” he scowled. “Or the Whelp…”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “No one I’d want to be with but you, luv,” she said, giving him a quick peck on the nose. “Which brings me to…er…OK, I know vamps aren’t exactly heterosexual, and since Vicky’s involved and all…” Her face turned bright red.

Spike laughed. “Vicky’s pretty damn near straight,” he assured her. “No, you don’t have to have sex with her…unless you want to… Jus’ usin’ me as an excuse to seduce my mate?” he accused mockingly.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. This seemed to fascinate him to no end, and his own tongue decided to fully explore hers before he let her speak again.

She murmured against his shoulder. “This feels like Heaven,” she sighed, inhaling his sensual scent. “I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop… You’re _positive_ Vicky’s OK with this?”

“Trust me,” Spike rolled his eyes, “she’d like nothin’ better’n to ‘ave another woman around to do strange, feminine things like shoppin’ and watchin’ sappy movies and mockin’ me.”

“And I’m conveniently an expert in all three,” Buffy giggled.

“She _is_ my mate, though,” he said seriously. “The difference doesn’t ‘ave to be obvious – not to us, but other vamps’ll treat you…with less respect.”

“Do I really care what other vamps think of me?” she sighed.

“Tha’s always been my philosophy,” Spike agreed with a small smile.

“Really?” Buffy giggled. “’Cause I always thought your philosophy was ‘kill things; kill good’.”

“Oi! I do not talk like fish-spider-man there!” he gestured to the man in the really dopey rubber suit on the TV who had roughly the same linguistic skills as Buffy’s quote. “So, luv,” he said, serious once more, “whaddaya think?”

She traced the scar on his eyebrow with her index finger. “If I say no?” she asked curiously.

He sighed. “Then me an’ Vicky go home we’re done here, an’ this was nothin’ more than another fling.”

She tried to bite back the almost palpable pain at the thought of Spike leaving again. “OK,” she finally said softly.

He apparently took this to mean the opposite of what she intended. “Right then,” he said, his face closed off to her once more. “You want me to leave now?”

“No,” Buffy soothed away the crease on his brow with her fingers. “I meant ‘OK, I agree’. I’m in.”

Spike cocked his head to one side and then slowly began to smile at her. She couldn’t resist the urge to smile back.

“This li’l part of my heart never stopped lovin’ you, Buffy,” he finally said after a brief celebratory kiss.

“I love you, too,” she agreed.

“Vicky’ll be gettin’ back the day after tomorrow,” he informed her. “We can tell her the good news, an’ then…I think ‘s high time you ‘ad a bit of fun.”

“No arguments here,” she said softly.

Impulsively, he kissed her hard on the lips once more. “The three of us,” he said happily, “we’re gonna have the time ‘f our lives.”

“Yeah,” Buffy leaned in for another kiss. “Y’know? I think this just might work…”


End file.
